You are in so much trouble for bringing out the eLouai dolls again. So much trouble.
Trouble aside, this is an interesting little snip ... very sinister tone almost the whole way through. I agree there's an awful lot of pluperfect in there, but considering this was pretty much a 45-minute deal, I'm impressed it got above two paragraphs. Nothing of mine would get done in that sort of time.
I really like the way you present high society - this and that last thing about Pimpernel have the same sort of integrity. The tension right through the operation was great as well. The only thing I'd suggest would be one tweak of the villainous dialogue - that 'kitten has claws' line is getting a little bit venerable in the villain's handbook, I think.
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Date: 2005-11-17 12:35 am (UTC)Trouble aside, this is an interesting little snip ... very sinister tone almost the whole way through. I agree there's an awful lot of pluperfect in there, but considering this was pretty much a 45-minute deal, I'm impressed it got above two paragraphs. Nothing of mine would get done in that sort of time.
I really like the way you present high society - this and that last thing about Pimpernel have the same sort of integrity. The tension right through the operation was great as well. The only thing I'd suggest would be one tweak of the villainous dialogue - that 'kitten has claws' line is getting a little bit venerable in the villain's handbook, I think.
Must *twitch* not *twitch* make dolls ...